Bollywood movies that you should never watch with your parents

Bollywood movies aren’t always drawn straight from real life. Many times, they are melodramatic, gorgeous, coked-up versions of our drab, boring lives. How many times have you watched a film and gone “no real family is this happy”? Or “no real person actually talks like this”? The most common one, of course, being “how do backup dancers just know every step to the song?”

Well, most of us stopped asking these questions because the very beauty of Bollywood is the fact that it is so unreal. You don’t have to believe everything that they say. But just because some movies are unreal, doesn’t mean they’re not uncomfortable. Especially if you’re watching with your parents.

Like these ones:

Delhi Belly

I really enjoyed Delhi Belly. I thought it was fresh, witty and I love the grunge look and music. Also, Imran Khan stepped out of his usual chocolate boy roles and did something new pretty well. But I also really enjoyed the film because I watched it all alone, on my laptop. Definitely don’t want to see so many shit jokes and crass humour with my parents by my side.

Murder

Well, it’s no secret that sex sells, and Murder was much talked about back in 2004 when it released, mostly for the number of times that Emraan Hashmi and Mallika Sherawat kissed. Apparently it was 17 times. While that isn’t much today, the movie is basically softcore porn. I’ve not seen it as yet, and I’m not sure I intend to. But if it ever shows up on TV and my parents are around, I will definitely change the channel.

Rang Rasiya

Rang Rasiya stars the gorgeous Randeep Hooda as Raja Ravi Varma and Nandana Sen. It’s an erotic period drama that has a lot of painting, a lot of sex, and a lot of painting with sex. Watch it for the piece of art that the movie is, with every scene rich in colour and emotions. But don’t watch it with family around. It’s not crass or tacky like the previous three poems, but it sure is inappropriate for family dinner.

Wake Up Sid

If you watch Wake Up Sid with your parents, you will listen to a LOT of “I told you so’s” and “This is you!” and “all you youngsters are the same.” Of course, by the end Sid matures and respects his parents and becomes independent. But until then, he is every Desi kid ever who relies too much on their parents for every single thing. I went for this movie with my parents back in 2009 and the car ride home was not a silent one. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t repeat them.

Baghban

Baghban

Uff, Baghban. This is the actual plot: “Raj Malhotra and his wife, Pooja, sacrifice everything to let their four sons have a happy life. However, when Raj retires, his sons become selfish and treat their parents with disrespect.” And the movie stays true to it. Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are the pitiable Malhotras whose good-for-nothing sons treat like shit. It’s a very real movie because, let’s face it, most Indian sons are disrespectful and take everything for granted. But if you watch this with your parents, you’ll forever be the victim of snarky comments and snide jabs from their end. The emotional blackmail begins and ends with Baghban. Thanks a lot, Ravi Chopra.

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